Wanted: A True Conservative

©1996 by Dale Franks

A few years ago, I used to think I was a moderate. I wasn't exceptionally attracted to either party, and I couldn't get wholeheartedly behind either of the party's platforms. Frankly, I had serious problems with both of the major parties and I still do.

But I've had an epiphany in the last few years. The problem doesn't lie within me. My views are completely consistent, and I am a true conservative. The problem is that both the Republicans and Democrats are inconsistent in their views.

Democrats love to spend money. My money. I work well above 40 hours a week making that money. But every time the words "tax cut" are mentioned in Washington, Democrats have apoplexy. It's bad enough, they say, that those who "unfairly profited" in the 1980's aren't paying their fair share. Now, the Republicans want to give even more tax breaks to the rich.

Moreover, the Democrats act like they care more than I do. They care deeply about every problem in the country. They want to solve every single inequity in our society, no matter what the cost. If it takes more money, well, so what? We're taxed far less than the Europeans or Japanese. We can afford it. And if I complain that we're just a little to deep in debt to keep spending public money like a drunken sailor on a Singapore shore leave, they say that I just don't care about the problem. They say I'm mean-spirited. They even insinuate slyly that maybe I want to cut welfare because I think too many of the recipients are conspicuously darker-skinned than I am.

The Democrats think they are better people than I am.

The Republicans are no better. Sure, they want to get out of my pocketbook. They want me to keep more of the money I make. They want a smaller government.

Unfortunately, the Republicans are a bunch of nosy parkers who want to know who I'm sleeping with. And whoever it is, it better not be someone of the same sex. They want to be sure I don't type naughty things on my computer screen. They certainly don't want me reading one of those smutty Playboy magazines. Let's not even talk about abortion.

In the Republican view, if I do any of the above, maybe I'm not just a bad person. Maybe I'm a criminal, or at least I should be. To top it all off, these issues are tinged with a religious fervor, too, so I get eternal perdition as a consequence as well.

The Republicans think they are better people than I am, too.

The truth is, both parties have succumbed to the call of government as a solution to their social concerns. There is a totalitarian streak on both the left and the right. The Democrats are perfectly willing to use coercion to achieve economic equality across the broad mass of society. The Republicans are equally willing to use coercion to force a return to traditional family values.

Both parties want to have it both ways. On the left, the ACLU says I have the constitutional right of free speech to send pornographic material to children over the internet, but if I refer to a female coworker as "babe" I should be driven out of the office like a rabid dog. Congressional Republicans say business should be freed from the shackles of intrusive government regulation, but should be forced to stick a "V-chip" in every TV so the little ones can't watch NYPD Blue.

My views, on the other hand, are completely consistent. I believe the Founding Fathers had something when they said, "The government is best which governs least." I want to have more control over both my economic decisions and my moral decisions. In fact, I don't believe a truly free people can have one without the other.

Yes, we still need a Federal government. But we need it to do the big things, like sending out ambassadors or overseeing the military. What we do not need the federal government to do is to regulate our private economic and moral decisions. I think Thomas Jefferson had it right in 1801 when he said in his first Inaugural Address, "A wise a frugal government, which shall restrain men from injuring one another, shall leave them otherwise free to regulate their own pursuits of industry and improvement."

Here's what I'd like to see. Just once, I'd like to see a presidential candidate say the following:

"You know what folks? I'm a real conservative. I don't have the totalitarian impulse of the left to control your money, or of the right to regulate your morality. I want to get the government out of your pocketbook and out of your bedroom. I want you to be responsible for your life. Do you want to help the poor? Then give to charity and volunteer at a soup kitchen. Do you want to increase appreciation of traditional values? Then go down to your church and get the parishioners out into the community. Stop sitting around and looking to Washington, DC, to fix all your problems and do some fixing yourselves."

That's what I'd like to see. I'm not holding my breath, though.

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